Shrma and me

Well I'd managed to avoid Delhi Belly until my very last meal. The chili Chicken at the Blue Sapphire (see previous post for details) put me over the edge. I'll keep you posted on how it progresses.

The Driver for my 4 day tour of Delhi, Jaipur and Agra was called Shrma. The first day around Delhi he was reasonably quiet. "This is parliament", "There's the monkey temple", "This is the palace" etc. The next day he was even quieter, silently chewing his masala all the way to Jaipur. Apparently Masala gives you a calming effect, which must be essential as a driver in India. We were nearly to Jaipur when he admitted he'd had too many whiskeys the night before. His commentary was as useful as before.

"What's this place?" I asked.
"It's the fort", he replied.
"When was it built?" I asked.
"Oh, about 200 years ago."

"So what's this place?", I asked.
"It's the palace", he replied.
"When was it built?" I asked.
"Oh, about 200 years ago."

But Shrma grew on me and gradually gained my trust. Each time he dropped me at a monument I expected he'd have taken off with my stuff. But I began to expect it less and less.

He was also honest about the dodgey shops he'd take me to and the commissions he'd receive. He would say, "Go into this shop, look around for 10 minutes, don't buy anything. I'll show you the one to buy at later." He received an 80 rupee ($2 USD) drink voucher, and he gave me a cut of 2 beers each day for my part in the scam.

One time he had to go undercover. He showed me a friends shop that wasn't owned by "the company". I assume he got the full commission here. To get there, and so his car wouldn't be seen, he hired a cyclo and wrapped a cloth around his mouth.

After looking at some marble he bought me a beer. He was drinking whisky again and we sat with some shop owners. It after a few drinks that I felt comfortable enough to question the 20,000 rupee price tag for my trip. He brought up his 2,000 rupee per month wages, and his need to support his wife and 4 kids. It's funny, he'd never mentioned his wife when he was checking out the girls on the street.

After some healthy debate we agreed it wasn't Shrma's fault that I bought a tour that I didn't really want. I joined in drinking the whiskey.

I started to wonder if my stuff was OK in his car. Shrma said "You could leave $1,000 on the dashboard and no-one would touch it because they know it's Shrma's car." Even though it sounded like the whiskey talking I decided to believe him.

After some whiskeys we went to restaurant that I don't remember paying for. Shrma told me it's ok lets go.

Then I said, "So where do we drink now?" Long story short, with some fuzzy memory of a game somewhat like rummy and another bottle of whisky I woke up in my kingsize bed at the hotel with Shrma beside me. But don't worry I woke up in the morning with my anal virginity still intact. Phew dodged another bullet.

Earlier that previous day I saw the Taj Mahal and it was really really good. I got a guide to show me around. His name was God. It's not everyday God guides you through one of the new 7 wonders of the world.

Despite being hungover with a bit of help from his Masala, Shrma got me back to New Delhi, safe and sound. What a relief! He even got me to the airport at 3am. I gave him a tip of around $50 USD. After all he has a "wife and 4 kids to feed".

I promised the dodgey guy who sold me the trip that if it was good I'd add a link to his website. Well overall is was good. So here it is http://www.rajasthanheritagetours.com/. If you're ever in Delhi and you're abducted by your cab driver and taken to Rajasthan Heritage Tours, say hi from me.

I'm now in Amman, Jordan. What a relief to be safe and sound in the Middle East.